I won’t keep quiet. Even though I live with a panic button installed in my home because of the constant threats to my life that I receive. How can I keep quiet? Knowing what I know and knowing how miserable life is for many Pakistanis, especially children and women. I was forced into a marriage at the age of 18, married to a much older man with whom I had nothing in common. Married off because I was becoming too Westernised and bringing “shame” onto my family. And so to save the family “honour,” I was forced to marry a man I met for the first time on my wedding night. I stayed in the marriage for three years until I found the courage to walk out.

Walking out meant losing my family, extended family and the Pakistani community I had been part of my entire life. Being alone was a terrifying experience for me. All my life all I had ever been part of was the Pakistani community, and now I was being forced to live amongst the white Scottish people, the very people I was raised to believe hated me because I was brown, because my father was Pakistani, because I was a Muslim. The reality of my life amongst white Scottish people, thankfully was not what I had been brainwashed to believe.

White Scottish people accepted me and saw me as a Glaswegian, not the “Paki’s daughter.” I was accepted by the white side of my mother’s family and treated as an equal. Of course there were racists, people who let it be known I was not welcome because I had a “Paki” father, and there was also people who told me I was actually quite cool for a “Paki.” It is because of the Pakistani connection in my life I live with a panic button. I write articles about Islam, child rape in the Pakistani community, the Muslim rape gangs.

I am very passionate about raising awareness about female genital mutilation (FGM) and believe that parents who do this should be jailed. Living in fear of being attacked by devout Pakistani men or women who would rather I keep quiet is something I have gotten used to. I had to, or I would have given up, and giving up is not something I can do. The fear is there every day.