Rudyard Kipling"
“When you're left wounded on Afganistan's plains and
the women come out to cut up what remains, Just roll to your rifle
and blow out your brains,
And go to your God like a soldier”
General Douglas MacArthur"
“We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction.”
“It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it.” “Old soldiers never die; they just fade away.
“The soldier, above all other people, prays for peace, for he must suffer and be the deepest wounds and scars of war.”
“May God have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't .” “The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
“Nobody ever defended, there is only attack and attack and attack some more.
“It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived.
The Soldier stood and faced God
Which must always come to pass
He hoped his shoes were shining
Just as bright as his brass
"Step forward you Soldier,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?"
"No, Lord, I guess I ain't
Because those of us who carry guns
Can't always be a saint."
I've had to work on Sundays
And at times my talk was tough,
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.
But, I never took a penny
That wasn't mine to keep.
Though I worked a lot of overtime
When the bills got just too steep,
The Soldier squared his shoulders and said
And I never passed a cry for help
Though at times I shook with fear,
And sometimes, God forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.
I know I don't deserve a place
Among the people here.
They never wanted me around
Except to calm their fears.
If you've a place for me here,
Lord, It needn't be so grand,
I never expected or had too much,
But if you don't, I'll understand."
There was silence all around the throne
Where the saints had often trod
As the Soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.
"Step forward now, you Soldier,
You've borne your burden well.
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell."
While walking down the street one day a Malaysian Boleh Minister is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by an angel at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says the angel. "Before you settle in, it seems
there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts,
you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is
have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose
where to spend eternity."
"Really, I have made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Yang Berhormat
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules," says the angel.
And with that, the angel escorts him to the elevator and he goes down,
down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of
a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in
front of it are all his friends and other politicians
who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and dressed in the finest batik there is. They
run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times
they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a
friendly game of golf and then indulge themselves
on lobsters, caviar and the most expensive food there is.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a
good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time
that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where the angel is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the Yang Berhormat joining a group of contented
souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They
have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by
and the angel returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."
The Yang Berhormat reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I
would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I
think I am better off in hell."
So the angel escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to
hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a
barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
"I don't understand," stammers the Yang Berhormat. "Yesterday I was here
and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and
caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's
just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends
look miserable. What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning just like you during an election...... Today you voted."
